


Thomas Jefferson is Not Gay

by LamBams (forfitzsimmons)



Series: The Other 51 Hamilton Challenge [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blackmail, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, I just wanted cute jeffmads okay, Musical References, Panic Attacks, Poor Thomas, Sort Of, demisexual thomas, mac 'n cheese, one guy says the f word, sort of again, there's more fluff than plot in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 09:12:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13361382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forfitzsimmons/pseuds/LamBams
Summary: Thomas Jefferson is not gay even though he is dating and very much in love with James Madison. That fact wouldn't matter to their parents if they found out, and they just might when someone threatens to send incriminating photos if they don't meet their blackmailer's demands.orThomas and James are pulled into some shit and ask the Hamilsquad for help.





	Thomas Jefferson is Not Gay

**Author's Note:**

> There's no way I'm actually gonna get to 51 in the next six months, but here goes nothing. Here's some cute jeffmads and a little elams for y'all. The plot of this has so many holes and shit but honestly I just wanted cute jeffmads sooooooo.

“So, who's the girlfriend of this week, Thomas?” His mother asked, though it sounded like she was scolding him. “I'm expecting grandbabies but not that many, y'know.”

Thomas sighed, wrapping his arms around James' waist. The bright sun filtering through the blinds said it had to be past noon, but he snuggled closer to his warm boyfriend regardless. “No one at the moment, mama. Finals are too close to worry about that sort of thing. How're y'all? The girls drivin' you crazy?”

His mother _tsked_ him but made no other remark. “Y'know the answer to that, hon. What day are you done?”

“Last exam is the 7th.” Thomas rubbed circles over his boyfriend’s tummy, grinning at the tiny laugh it earned him. “Jemmy is gonna drive home so I'll go with him after his exam on the 9th.”

“New York to Virginia is a long way, hon. Will he be alright?”

“We’ll make plenty of stops.” Thomas planned to enjoy every second until they had to be ‘just best friends’ in front of their folks again. “We’ll probably stay in some hotels a night or two.” He muted the phone for the moment and pulled James closer. “I think one bed would be enough, right, Jemmy?” He breathed into James’ ear, laughing when his boyfriend squirmed.

“Don’t be an ass, Thomas. Talk to your mother, for Christ’s sake.” Despite his harsh words, Thomas didn’t miss the way James tried to melt further into his arms. “Take her off mute, dumbass. She’s still talking.”

“…And I know I must be boring you and you have studying to do, so I’ll let you go. Make us proud, hon! The family sends their love.” Thomas didn’t even have any idea of what she’d been saying while he teased James, but he figured it was some random story about this or that family member.

He unmuted the phone. “Yeah, all 800 members, right? I love you guys too. See y’all in a couple weeks.” With no further preamble, he hung up and tossed his phone onto the dresser, content to forget about anything outside the bed.

A deep sigh alerted him that he wouldn’t be able to do that, though.

“What’s wrong, Jem?”

James turned over in his arms. “I hate going home. Even when we get to be together, we can’t even be _us_.”

Thomas brushed an invisible strand of hair off James’ face, lingering to smooth his thumb over the other boy’s cheek. “I know, but you know my folks would _misunderstand_ if I told them we were dating.”

James just hummed. “I wouldn’t ever ask you to do that anyway. You know I wouldn’t force you out, right?”

God, he loved this boy. “Yes, and that’s one of the things I love about you.” He pecked James on the cheek, smiling. “I just—“ The obnoxious buzzing of his phone interrupted him. Thomas frowned, swiping his phone off the dresser. “Sorry, darlin’. Guess I’m popular today.” An unknown number had texted him several times. “Weird,” he mumbled. He opened the chat and froze.

James sat up, trying to decipher his boyfriend’s face. “Thomas? Who is it?” He finally caught a glimpse of the screen and his breath caught.

Three different pictures of the two boys being _friendly_ sat there on the screen like a threat. No words accompanied the pictures, the implied _I know_ being loud and clear.

Thomas would admit that, in any other situation, they’d be beautiful pictures. One was from a few weeks prior when he’d been fussing over James, trying to make sure he didn’t get sick from midterm stress. A blanket was covering James’ shoulders as he highlighted his textbook, head comfortably placed on Thomas’ lap, fingers combing through his hair while they studied in an empty corner of the library. Another was of a stealthy (or not so, it seemed) kiss they’d shared between classes. The last, and most frightening, was the two of them curled up together on their living room couch.

Someone had been taking pictures of them. Someone had been stalking them. Someone _knew where they lived_.

“Holy shit,” was the only thing James could think to say.

Thomas had never known fear quite like this. Oh god. His parents would _disown_ him if they saw these. Even if he wasn’t technically gay, his parents would take it that way and James was still a guy and _shit_ he’d never see James again—his parents, hell, both their parents would make sure of that. He’d be nothing and he wouldn’t ever see his best friend again and—

“Thomas? Thomas, can you hear me?” James gently took his face and made him focus. “Hon, look at me. Look—Thomas, just focus on my voice. It’s just us, you and me.”

Thomas eventually managed to calm his oncoming panic attack. He curled into his boyfriend’s small frame.

“Jemmy,” he whimpered, “I don’t know what to do.”

James stayed quiet, likely thinking the same things he was. There weren’t a whole lot of options. If they went to the police or someone at the university, it could get back to their parents—plus, they had no idea who it was and wouldn’t be able to offer up anything other than the pictures. Responding to the mystery person would likely not end well. Thomas was also aware that he was not as well-liked as he might want at this moment. Sure, he could charm his way through just about anything, but the amount of people who actually knew him and got along with him was countable on one hand.

“Don’t laugh,” James warned, “But I have an idea of who we could go to.”

“Oh?”

“You used to both be officers in the debate club…”

“No, no, we are not going to Hamilton.” Thomas pulled away, stunned that James would even suggest it.

“Think about it. He’s an officer of the GSA now. He’d understand.”

“No, he’d _mis_ understand.”

“I won’t make you do it,” James conceded. “I know we’d have to come out to him to get his help, but he’s smart. Somehow, he hasn’t driven all his decidedly influential friends away. I think if we explained it, he’d understand.”

Sometimes he hated when James was right. But what if he wasn’t? What if Hamilton used it against them? Which was worse, dealing with the mystery stalker or coming out to Hamilton?

#

Thomas was beginning to regret his decision. There were a multitude of reasons he didn’t usually attend GSA meetings and Alexander Hamilton was at the top of the list next to not wanting to be outed and disowned. The arrogant loud-mouth had been glaring at him the whole meeting and he was glad James was with him to prevent things from getting physical.

As soon as the meeting ended, Thomas and James stopped the twerp.

“Yo,” Thomas called out, “Hamilton, we wanna talk to ya’. Alone.”

Laurens and Eliza Schuyler moved protectively to their boyfriend’s side. Thomas rolled his eyes. They weren’t here for that shit and he, personally, was not in the mood for it.

“Anything you have to say to Alex—“ Laurens tried to speak, but James cut him off.

“You’re misunderstanding. We aren’t here to fight. We just want to speak with Alexander alone. It’s a personal matter.”

The three partners shared a look that was eerily similar to the one Thomas would share with James when silently making decisions. The polyphobic comments he’d made not too long ago suddenly weighed heavily on his shoulders.

Hamilton’s partners kissed his cheeks and left, eyeing Thomas and James as they went. Hamilton turned his full attention to them.

“Well?”

Thomas tried not to fidget, the only nervous tic he’d yet to suppress. James squeezed his shoulder and nodded. He took a deep breath and fished his phone out of his pocket.

“We—I need your help.” As soon as it’d been said, Hamilton’s jaw dropped. Thomas shoved his phone towards him before he started yapping. “I think someone is going to try to blackmail me, but I don’t know who it is or what they want.”

Hamilton stared wide-eyed, glancing between Thomas and the pictures on the phone screen. Eventually, he moved to glancing between Thomas and James instead.

“Wait, you’re gay?”

“No!”

The following silence was tense. Hamilton handed the phone back and frowned.

“I know we don’t get along—like we hate each other’s guts and all and I disagree with you on about everything because you’re just virtually wrong on every front—but this is a safe space, Jefferson.”

“I’m. Not. Gay.” He grit his teeth. A warm hand on his arm warned him away from throwing a punch. “Girls and James. That’s it. James being a guy has _nothing_ to do with it.”

It went silent again and just as Thomas was about to go _fuck it_ and walk out, Hamilton nodded. “Ok,” he said. “I’m sorry I assumed, but I’m guessing that kind of assumption is why this concerns you?”

It took a moment for Thomas to process how easily Hamilton had just accepted his explanation. “I, yeah. Yeah, that’s why. My parents would disown me—I mean, you’ve heard me talk. I’m liberal comparatively.” Thomas paused and coughed awkwardly. “Sorry for the, uh, polyphobic shit I’ve said, by the way. I don’t think I quite grasped the legitimacy until you guys were doing the whole having-a-conversation-with-eye-contact thing.”

James’ hand twined with his and Thomas found him smiling. He would be forever grateful that James loved him despite his occasionally… insensitive opinions and obsession with kitchen gadgets.

“Well, you’ll have to apologize to John and Betsey before I fully forgive that, but I’m more than willing to help. I can’t stand people like this, using personal information to get what they want or just to intimidate people. Honestly, it just shows that they’re incapable of being successful without playing dirty.” He smiled and Thomas suddenly realized why people flocked to him. He might be loud-mouthed and arrogant but he could charm just as well as Thomas. Their similarities were starting to frighten him. “One condition, though.”

“Here we go,” Thomas mumbled. James gently nudged him so he’d behave.

Hamilton stuck out his hand. “Let’s go by first names. Alex and Thomas. What do you say?”

Thomas released James’ hand and shook Hamilton’s firmly. “It’ll be weird, but I suppose I can live with it.”

“Alright, so what’s the plan?” Hamilton—Alex, Thomas reminded himself—looked between them. They both frowned.

“We were hoping you'd have an idea.” James sighed. “We’re low on options.”

Alex nodded. “True. You really only have two options. One, and you won't like this one, come out willingly instead of letting this guy force you out and make things turn out even worse—”

“No! No way. I'd be disowned. My folks are traditional southerners; they've actually talked to me— _warned_ me against associating myself with _sinning homosexuals_ or I might _catch it_.”

Alex put his hand up. “Ok, ok. I never said it was a good option. Vetoed.”

James took his hand again to calm him. “Option two?”

“Let the others help uncover who the guy is and make him stop.” Alex paused and Thomas assumed he could see the apprehension he felt. “But I'm sure you're smart enough to realize you'd have to tell them the details. I won't force you. I can try my best to help without them, but I don't think this will work as a three-man job.”

More people questioning him? Judging him? Thomas’ usual bravado was being overshadowed by doubt. They'd think he was in denial like Alex had first assumed. He didn't want to have that argument with a bunch of people who hated him. The air around him felt colder, but his skin felt feverish. His hands were clammy, shaking in James’ grip.

“Hey,” James spoke softly. “No matter what you choose, I'll be there the whole way.” He wrapped his arms around Thomas’ trembling form.

He took deep breaths in time with James’. The steady drum of his boyfriend's heart helping to slow his own. He pulled away and looked Alex in the eye. “Ok. I'll do it.”

He'd never say it, but he very much appreciated that neither boy asked if he was sure.

#

Thomas was itching to curse Alex for putting this together. The kid was so melodramatic, telling his friends they needed to have an _emergency cabinet meeting_. Now, Thomas was stuck standing at the front of the room and trying not to sweat or fidget or hide behind James while Alex’s friends sat in plastic chairs, eying him.

Once everyone was settled, Angelica had already lost her patience. “Okay, so what’s this about? I have better things to do.”

Alexander gestured to Thomas and James. “James and Thomas need our help.”

The entire room stared at Alex, bug-eyed. Whether it was because he was requesting that his friends help his mortal enemies or because he called said mortal enemies by their first names, Thomas would never know. Alex backed up, handing the stage over to him.

Thomas cleared his throat. “We need your help,” he said redundantly. “Someone is trying to blackmail James and me. It would be nothing short of disastrous if our folks caught wind of the whole thing.”

John raised his hand like a second-grader. _Be nice, we need their help_. “What exactly are you guys being blackmailed about?”

Thomas tried to breathe through the lump in his throat, but it wasn’t going well. He knew he was fidgeting now, he could feel his hands shaking. A warm hand came to rest on his shoulder, grounding him. He glanced over at James before facing the others again.

He figured he should just rip the proverbial band-aid off. “James and I are dating. No, I’m not gay. I only like James. Yes, my parents are homophobic. No, I have no idea who could be blackmailing us. Yes, I do actually need your help.” He looked around the room. “Any questions?” He saw John, _still_ a veritable second-grader, raise his hand again. “Yes?”

With the absolute seriousness the situation demanded, John asked, “What the fuck?”

Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose. He could already feel a headache coming on. “Did you not hear a word I just said?”

“Thomas,” James had his warning voice on. “John, we’re asking for help. Someone took pictures of us—one of which was in our apartment—and our parents, especially Thomas’, are probably the most homophobic Southerners of all time. We could actually be disowned.”

Thomas stayed quiet after James spoke, wanting to let his boyfriend’s words sink in. After that one moment of silence, everything just went straight to hell.

“What?!”

“Your parents would do that?”

“That’s really shitty.”

“We gotta find this guy!”

“And here I thought Alex had the worst enemies.”

A spike of pain from the side of Thomas’ head alerted him that a stress headache was coming on. Why can none of Alexander’s friends _shut the hell up_? When the room went silent again, Thomas realized he may have said that out loud.

He decided to just roll with it. “Can y’all just get your shit together? Yes, it’s shocking and terrible and what-not, but we don’t have time for your… whatever you call the dumb shit you guys get up to.”

“Shenanigans?”

“Fun?”

“ _Faire du mal?_ ” 

“Did you not get the urgency of our request?”

“Calm your shit, Jefferson,” Angelica raised a brow at him. “We’ll help. Now, what’s the plan?”

Alexander took that as his cue to take center-stage again. “First, we need to ensure no more blackmail material could make it into the hands of this scumbag. Second, we need to find out who said scumbag is. Third, we need to stop them.”

Herc spoke up, “That plan’s great and all, but how do you propose doing those things?”

“Glad you asked, Hercules!” Alexander grinned. Thomas rolled his eyes at the twerp’s theatrics. “Stage one is mostly up to Jeffmads—“

“To who now?” James scrunched up his eyebrows.

_God, he’s too cute._

“Jefferson-Madison! Your ship name!”

“Our—whatever, just get on with it!” Thomas shook his head. “You’re saying it’s up to us to keep a low profile until we catch this guy and put the fear of God in him?”

“More like the fear of the Hamilsquad, but yes.” Alexander nodded. “Second, we’ll need to gather information before anything else. Herc, you’re still fiddling with that spy kit, right?”

“Yep.”

“I need you to set up hidden cameras around their house. Laf, do you have all online classes this semester?”

“Oui, and I’m very happy about it.”

“Well, I need you to escort Thomas to his classes.”

“I don’t need an escort!”

“Jacky, you have all the same classes as James, right? Can you hang with him? I need you and Laf to take note of any suspicious characters.”

“But—!” Thomas tried to protest, but James took both his hand and his attention.

“I think it’s a good idea, Thomas. They’ve obviously been stalking us, so it’ll be good to have some extra eyes.” He smiled, disarming Thomas completely. “Besides, it makes me feel better to know you won’t be alone while all this is going on.”

Thomas was definitely not blushing all kinds of red in front of people he could barely call allies. He coughed awkwardly. “Fine. At least I can get along with Lafayette.”

“They’re actually disgustingly cute,” Angelica commented.

Thomas held his head high. “Damn straight we are.”

“Angelica,” Alexander said, “You know all the dirt on everyone. Try to find whoever would have a grudge against either or both of them.”

“It’ll be a long list.”

“And my dear Betsey, I’d like your help getting other _reinforcements_.”

“What?” Thomas squawked. He pulled away from James and stood to face Alexander head-on. “No. No way. I am _not_ explaining this to anyone else.”

“You won’t have to,” Alexander assured him. “We’ve got some friends in higher places who’ll help regardless of the why.”

James replied, “You could just say you’re Professor Washington’s favorite and be done with it.”

Eliza added, “He’s not the only one on good terms with professors. Plus, my father is on the Ethics and Discipline Committee. Angel and I don’t advertise that, but it’s true.” She smiled at Thomas and James. “Once we find the creep, we can get him punished for stage three.”

“Well?” Alexander asked. “What do you say?”

“If Thomas is comfortable with it, then I think it isn’t a half-bad plan.”

“Yeah, but is it half-good?” Thomas muttered. “We don’t exactly have a choice, so I’ll go along with your ridiculous scheme.”

“You’ll have to eat your words and thank me at the end of this, Thomas.” Alexander hopped off the stage to rejoin his partners.

“Hey, loser!” Thomas caught Alex’s attention. He changed his tone to something more sincere. “If this works then I’ll owe you more than a thank you.”

Alex gave him the most genuine smile he’d ever seen on him. “Then I guess it’d better work. I wouldn’t pass up a favor from Thomas Jefferson.”

#

“Jemmy, I _miss_ you!” Thomas pouted, arms wrapped tightly around his boyfriend.

“You’re so dramatic, Thomas, I swear.” He sounded exasperated, but Thomas didn’t miss the tiny smile he was trying to suppress.

It had only been three days and Thomas was already dying. He’d had zero quality time with James since the _emergency cabinet meeting_ and he was about ready to just kiss James right out in the Quad. They couldn’t even cuddle in their own home without closing the curtains on every window in the house.

“What if this just goes on forever, Jem? We were already sneaking around before, but this is just…”

James turned over in his arms and shushed him. “We’ll figure it out, okay? There’s no use worrying about it now.”

“I guess, but if this goes on too much longer, I’m just gonna jump you in the dining hall and be done with it.”

“Thomas!” James smacked his arm, but Thomas just laughed. “What do I see in you?”

“Good hair and a winning personality?”

“I’d say you got it half right, at least.” James untangled himself from Thomas’ arms. “Come on, I’m hungry and _someone_ only got mac ‘n cheese and ice cream when he went to get groceries.”

“Okay, but, Jemmy, which one was right?” James ignored his question and walked out. “Jemmy!” He almost didn’t hear his phone go off over the sound of James laughing.

Thomas went silent when he saw the number that texted him. He must’ve stared at the text notification for a long time, because James came back.

“I was just kidding, Thomas. I love both, I promise.” James finally noticed that Thomas wasn’t moping like he’d expected. “Thomas?” He wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, glancing at the phone screen. “Do you want me to open it?”

Thomas squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. He let James slip the phone out of his hand. Thomas felt like he was waiting for the world to end—for _his_ world to end, because it would, it could. It could be over in an instant, the time it’d take to send incriminating pictures to his mother—or god forbid, his father. Thomas loved his family, but he knew they wouldn’t feel the same if they knew he _lieth with man as with a woman_ even if that man was Jemmy and—

“Thomas, just listen to me breathe, okay?” Jemmy pulled him into a hug. “In, out, in, out. That’s good, hon, just keep breathing.”

It took what felt like hours before Thomas could muster the wits to ask, “What was it?”

James was quiet for a moment. “Their demands.”

#

“This guy wants _what_?!” Alexander yelled. “Are you shitting me? $10,000?”

The Hamilsquad, as Alex called it, was once again gathered for an emergency cabinet meeting. Everyone was sitting around the GSA club room trying to figure out their next move.

“Makes sense,” Angelica said. “Those of us here, barring Herc and Alex, are honestly the richest kids in school.” She started counting off on her hand. “Us Schuylers are pretty much untouchable because of Papa, John’s dad just doesn’t care, Lafayette is already out and proud, and that leaves Jefferson and Madison here completely alone and vulnerable. I bet they noticed that you got help and decided to speed up their plan.”

“They’re insane,” Thomas said. “Neither of us have access to that kind of money! We don’t get our inheritance until we graduate. We have an _allowance_ for Christ’s sake! The most we could give them would be $2,000 and then we’d be broke until the next month.”

Alex gaped at them. “You guys both get $1000 for your allowance? Jesus, maybe I should’ve blackmailed you.” The glares he got made him backtrack. “I was kidding! Just kidding! We’re bros now, right, Thomas?”

“Sure.”

“Yelling about it isn’t going to solve anything,” James said. “What are we gonna do?”

Everyone turned to Alex. He jumped and looked around, frowning. “To be honest, I’m not sure. Even if you somehow got this guy the money, he wouldn’t stop there. Believe me, it just keeps going.” His face twisted into something painful. Thomas wondered what could’ve happened for him to know that. John and Eliza both gave him a hug. “Thanks.”

Looking around, Thomas realized he hadn’t really contributed much despite it revolving around him and James. His boyfriend seemed pensive, looking off into space and practically torturing the fraying ends of the sweater Thomas got him for his birthday a few years back.

“Jemmy-James?” He pulled his boyfriend’s hand into his and rescued the sweater. “I think I have an idea.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“This dude doesn’t know it yet, but he’s given us the best opportunity to catch him. All we have to do is play the part—and you know how much I love being dramatic.”

The far-off look in James’ eyes faded and it was replaced with a smile and crinkles at the edges of his eyes. “That I do, and I love you for it.”

John effectively ruined the moment by wolf-whistling. “Get a room!”

“Fuck off, Laurens. I’ve seen you and Alex do much worse than be _fucking adorable_ like my Jemmy just was.”

“You are so whipped!” John, and then Hercules, started laughing.

“Like you can talk! You follow your boyfriend around like a lost puppy.” At this, Eliza giggled, earning her a smile from Thomas. “See, even your girlfriend agrees with me!”

“Eliza!”

“Sorry, John, but he’s right.”

Thomas smirked at the little squabble he’d caused. Just because he was friendly, maybe even becoming friends, with them, didn’t mean he’d stop making drama. He felt a tug on his hand and turned to his boyfriend.

“I’m proud of you.”

“What?” Thomas felt his face heat up. He’d never admit it, but he lived for praise, especially from James.

“I’m proud of you,” he repeated. “Y’know, for all this. Making friends with people you swore to hate, being confident enough in your ideas that you don’t even fidget—all of that.” James glanced down at their joined hands, bringing them up to kiss Thomas’ knuckles. “And you know, I—“ His voice cracked and Thomas could tell both of them were tearing up. “I’ve always been grateful and proud of you for being with me even though I know it scared you for a long time and probably still does to some extent.”

“Oh, Jemmy.” Thomas pulled him into a hug and buried his head into James’ shoulder. “I’m the one who’s supposed to make dramatic exclamations.”

“I know,” James laughed. “I just really love you.”

“Fuck, I really love you too, Jem.” Thomas pulled away just enough to look at James’ face. “Nothing makes me happier than thinking I might be able to wake up next to my best friend for the rest of my life. Even if this all goes to shit, I’ll always fight to come back to you, okay?”

“Shit.” James rubbed at his eyes. “You’re gonna make me cry, you jerk.”

“Well, you already made me cry, so fuck you.”

The two of them held on for a little while longer before they remembered they weren’t alone. When they looked at the rest of the room, everyone seemed to be pointedly doing something else. Alexander seemed to notice they were finally done with their moment and butted in.

“So, how are we gonna make this work?”

Thomas turned to face Alex. “First, there’s someone else we need.”

#

Thomas and James stepped into the football field, abandoned in the middle of the night. Thomas was shivering, whether from the cold night air or anxiousness, he wasn’t sure. He fiddled with the collar of his shirt and carried a briefcase, weighed down with money.

A figure approached from the other side of the field. The person was tall and skinny, but that was all Thomas could make out until they were standing right in front of him.

It was Charles fucking Lee with a shit-eating grin on his face. Thomas scowled at him, wishing he could break his jaw. No, he had to play the angry, terrified victim. Punching him wouldn’t be in character.

“I should’ve known it was you, Lee,” Thomas said. “There’s only a few scumbags who’d sink this low.”

“Yeah, well, when you need cash, you need cash. You can thank your new friend Hamilton for this since it was his fault I lost my job.”

“It’s not his fault you were a shitty TA.”

“Thomas,” James used his warning voice. He shoved his hands in his pockets to keep warm. “Can we just get this over with?”

“Hand over the money,” Lee put out his hand.

“Delete the pictures first.” Thomas didn’t budge.

“No can do, Tommy-Boy. I’ve got the power here.” Lee used his other hand to pull out his phone. “Hand over the money or I’ll send these to Mr. Jefferson right now.”

Thomas’ frown deepened, but he walked forward. He had a white-knuckled grip on the briefcase.

“That’s right, you fag. You know I’ve won.” Lee still had his hand outstretched, but before Thomas handed it over, he instead swung it in arc to hit Lee over the head. The boy dropped to the ground, phone falling a few feet away. Thomas quickly snatched it up.

“You… you made a mistake, Jefferson. I have more that aren’t on my phone. You’re _finished_.”

“No,” James spoke up. “You’re the one who’s finished.”

The field lights flashed on, blinding all three of them. Before Lee could recover, George Washington was standing over him, watching an officer put Lee in handcuffs. Alexander came out from behind him, grinning.

“Did you know Professor Washington volunteers with the police on his days off, Lee?”

“I think the better question is,” Washington said, “Did you know that blackmail is illegal?”

The smile that appeared on James’ face made Thomas’ blood run cold. “And the police now have a warrant to search your house and seize anything you could use against us.” James wasn’t afraid to get in Lee’s face now that he was restrained. “We won’t need to tell our parents why we need lawyers in order to prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law. They’re generous like that.” James pulled a recording device out of his pocket. “It’ll be especially easy since both Thomas and I had mics on us.”

“By the way,” Thomas said, grinning. “You would’ve never gotten your money.” He opened the briefcase to reveal that it was full of monopoly money. “Dumbass.”

“We’ll take it from here, boys. Go home and get to bed.” Washington about-faced and followed the police carting Lee away.

Thomas winked at his boyfriend. “That’s the plan.”

“Don’t make me smack you.”

“But you looooooove me!”

“As cute as this is,” Alexander interrupted, “I have my own partners to get back to, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Thomas stopped him before he could turn away. “Thank you, Alex. I really do owe you.”

Alex smiled. “Let’s officially be friends and we’ll call it even. Goodnight, Thomas.”

“Goodnight, Alex.” He turned back to his boyfriend in a daze. “I’m friends with Alexander Hamilton. Am I in the same universe as last week?”

“’Fraid so,” James replied. “Can we go home now?”

“I couldn’t think of anything better.”

#

“Thomas, please tell me you’re fucking kidding me.”

“Come on, James! I really owe him. He said we’re even, but it doesn’t _feel_ like we’re even.”

“Thomas, buying him what basically amounts to three months’ worth of mac ‘n cheese is absolutely ridiculous.”

“He never eats and he’s broke, I’m doing him a favor!”

“Jesus Christ.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: Thomas Jefferson served macaroni and cheese at state dinners. Yeah. Imagine the president of the United States making, like, Kraft for a bunch of other politicians. It's a beautiful image.


End file.
